Dear Jack,

Today you are 21 months old. This morning you announced to me "Mommy, I got in chair!" after you climbed onto your seat. Indeed you did! I think this sums up the past month. You've started speaking longer and longer sentences and very craftily climbing to higher and higher places with ease.

You're so expressive these days. At the beginning of this month, you started saying "I yike it!" about your dad's t-shirts or your books. You learned to say "Gee-yup" as you gallop through the house. About a plate of chili (and many things since) you said "It's yummy! It's deshishus!" You've said it about mud and grass and sticks, too. When I tried to put you in your car seat on a sunny day, you angrily shouted "I no want dry-bing!" You sweetly hold your favorite stuffed animal and say "Don't cwy baby monkey." When we were out on the back deck a week ago, you told me "Shhh...Owl is sweepy." I can't believe you remembered me telling you that owls sleep during the day.


The piece de resistance, however, happened on February 24th (a day I'll remember forever), when you sweetly hugged me and said "I yuv you. I yuv you Mommy." Over and over again. Ah! You've continued showering me with yuv since then, and now you say "I yuv you too, Mommy." You finally shared the love with your slightly miffed Daddy a couple of days later, and made Miss Elaine's day by telling her the same. You yuv your friend Monkey Monkey, too. I am so pleased that you can give and receive love! This will make life so rich for you. Make sure you keep telling the people you love just how you feel.

Last weekend, our dear friends brought you a belated Christmas gift: your very own swing! Our small backyard can't hold much more, and the Pruitts built you a frame with a single swing. It's perfect! You stand at the back door and ask to "fwing" all day long. What a gift.


I've had some physical setbacks over the last month and I've had to imagine (all too realistically) sitting on the sidelines during your childhood. I know I'll always be there to cheer you, but how? Where will I be? I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter where exactly I am if you know I'm there with you. If you can feel how much I love you. I want to believe it and I know that later on, I'll look back and know it's true. But for now I feel a little sad. Uncertain. I'm not giving up and I won't, but these thoughts are new and I have to process them. As you get older, you become more independent (at least physically), and soon I won't need to be right in the middle of things with you. I will miss it, though, either way--if I'm forced to sit things out, or when you outgrow me. I have SO enjoyed running, jumping, skipping, wrestling, and dancing with you. I will keep enjoying it as long as I can. I hope you can remember a mom who played with you all the time.

We'll figure it out together. I love you so much, sweet boy.

Mama

p.s. You are gross.